January 2011
7 posts
Damn Near Killed 'Em
Dear Emily,
Last night my girlfriend attempted to stuff my testicles into my rectum. We needn’t discuss why I was on all fours and she was behind me in a position to attempt such a maneuver. I don’t know if this particular act has a name, though a colleague did inform me that it is referred to as a dog wash when a gentleman attempts to insert his testicles in a woman’s lady...
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Anonymous asked: dearest emily,
i've recently come to realize i don't know how to make my relationship with my boyfriend work. we are a few years apart in age and can't seem to meet up maturity wise. i love him dearly but i know he's too emotional and dramatic to be friends after a break up. but i still love him and want him around. how do i handle this? right now i'm trying to give...
i've recently come to realize i don't know how to make my relationship with my boyfriend work. we are a few years apart in age and can't seem to meet up maturity wise. i love him dearly but i know he's too emotional and dramatic to be friends after a break up. but i still love him and want him around. how do i handle this? right now i'm trying to give...
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Emily
mollyallenbarbour asked: Dear Emily,
If you worked for a fantastic company for 10 years, grew + bled for this company, loved this company and it's people more than words could express and when this fantastic company hired a complete and total moron with no experience in the industry to run the department who then fired all the strong and passionate pillars of that department, which would include you....
If you worked for a fantastic company for 10 years, grew + bled for this company, loved this company and it's people more than words could express and when this fantastic company hired a complete and total moron with no experience in the industry to run the department who then fired all the strong and passionate pillars of that department, which would include you....
Boob Tubez
Dear Emily,
Why do women have so much trouble using remote controls and other technological devices when it’s usually as easy as pressing a button or two? It drives me bananas.
Sincerely, Boob Tubez
Dear Boob Tubez,
Women are like flowers. Beautiful, delicate flowers that are incapable of operating remotes because they’re too busy looking good and smelling good and cooking you dinner...